The courage to feel
Starts with the permission to feel.
My work is for people in business and life who care about engagement and sustainable performance (which includes wellbeing). Fully engaged people lead their teams and themselves with integrity and authenticity. Authentic leadership means knowing your values, strengths, and accepting reality with open receptivity. This requires heart, courage, intention. How do we access that? Through personal and shared presence—which is not something that is taught, if indeed made time for, in corporate culture or indeed some families. I’m Tui and I want to change this. I do so through my own training and tools, through workshops and talks, coaching and creating. Like the article in PEPTalk Magazine, which brought you here. I also do so by seeking out and speaking to the most compelling experts in psychology and spirituality (you heard that right—this is about science and art, head and heart).
This is Dr. Marc Brackett
Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is the Founder and Director of the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence; the lead developer of RULER, an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning, and the Mood Meter App; and author of the book, “Permission To Feel”. His 25 years of research focuses on the role of emotions and emotional intelligence in learning, decision making, creativity, relationships, health, and performance. His mission is to educate the world about the value of emotions and the skills associated with using them wisely.
All content © Tui Fleming, All Rights Reserved.
“Go deeper into what I call the emotion scientist versus the emotion judge about feelings. Are you a curious explorer? Or are you a critical judge? I think we’ve got a lot of critical judges. It takes courage to be a curious explorer.” Dr Marc Brackett
Watch the full interview
“It takes courage to be the curious explorer”
Now for Part 2 with Dr. Emily Nagosaki
With a Ph.D in Health Behaviour, Emily teaches women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies, and a huge part of this is being able to recognise and complete the stress cycle. Together with her twin sister Amelia, Emily co-authored the book ‘Burnout – the secret to unlocking the stress cycle’ and Tui interviewed her for Part 2 of the PEPTalk series on “The Courage To Feel And Fight Burnout”.
Spoiler Alert: Having the courage to feel helps complete the stress cycle and stave away burnout. Read the full PEPTalk series in issues 5 and 6, and enjoy Tui’s gift via that big orange button over there…
PEPTalk’s Editor and Director Nadine Hickman had an event coming up that she said she was feeling “a tad stressed and anxious” about. She listened to the audio, then said:
“I am peaceful, serene and sure. Tui’s calming voice is a gift”.
What others are saying about Tui
“Tui is an engaging, professional, personable and thoughtful facilitator…”
“Tui is an engaging, professional, personable and thoughtful facilitator. She delivered a highly interactive virtual lunch and learn about Courageous Leadership to an audience of over 150 staff which was well received by all. During the session she exuded energy, heart and soul, and brought to life her own experiences along with Brene Brown’s philosophies of daring leadership and other current research in the field of leadership and wellbeing to inspire and motivate us. We also walked away with practical exercises and strategies that we could implement in our daily lives to be more authentic, courageous and lead ourselves and others during uncertain times.”
– Richie Wagaarachichi, Learning Design & Development Consultant, ASB Bank
“Integrity, honesty, authenticity, warmth, compassion, heartfelt, centered
“… are just a few of the words that come to my mind when I think of Tui. She is a person that instantly makes anyone feel comfortable, and this is an essential skill when working one on one and with groups of women. I engaged Tui to host an inspiring evening for a group of women in Marlborough in March 2018. It was a special evening of opening and emotion, brought about by the wonderful vibe Tui brings to a room. After the event guests said they felt relaxed, revived, energised and inspired to make positive changes in their lives.”
– Nadine Hickman, co-founder Pep Talk Media
“Her work is science based and heart centred and you feel that in every interaction…
“Tui is wonderful to work with. She is dedicated to bringing out the best in people, teams, leaders and organisations. She’s a potential detective with her deep commitment to helping people drive exceptional performance, while maintaining a deep personal equilibrium. She unashamedly challenges the notion of accepting less than we should, by driving alignment to purpose with delivering results. Her work is science based and heart centred and you feel that in every interaction with her. As well as galvanising long lasting results through pragmatic tools, she’s genuinely an awesome person who’s great to be around!”
– Anna Campbell, Chief People and Transformation Officer
“She’s really opened our people’s minds to what “wellbeing” means…
“Tui has worked with CBRE since 2019 and has contributed significantly to our employee wellbeing programme during that time. Tui has been a key part of our Mental Health Awareness Week programme for the last two years, delivering sessions to a wide range of our people on topics such as values, purpose, resilience, emotional agility and stress management techniques, to name a few. In addition, Tui facilitated a Senior Executive Q&A session for our International Women’s Day event in 2020, which was a huge success and has gone on to provide executive coaching to members of our Senior Management Team. Tui’s relaxed yet highly professional approach has allowed her to form great connections within our business, and to really open our people’s minds to what “wellbeing” means. She radiates positivity and a willingness to identify new ways in which we can support our people. She is a pleasure to work with.”
– Kirstin Cooper, People Lead, CBRE
“She is extraordinarily gifted.
“Tui worked with me over several months to introduce me to meditation and life skills management. The program was well structured and thorough. The delivery was exceptional. Tui spent hours with me gently guiding me, and during that time I came to know Tui as a highly skilled, sincere, caring and empathetic practitioner and life coach. I came away feeling confident in using the learnings in my daily life and the knowledge that at any time I could reconnect with Tui for further coaching. I am already reaping the rewards on my investment in Tui and her teachings. She is extraordinarily gifted.”
– Mark Gray
“Her ability to combine natural intuition backed by fact is gold.”
“Dedicating space for myself with Tui is one of the best decisions I have ever made. With Tui’s guidance, I brought to the fore my core strengths and values, identified which areas of my life (personally and professionally) needed my greatest attention, and followed simple steps and recommendations which have now become an easy, routine-based path – setting me on the right track to fulfil my greatest potential every day. Regular check-ins with Tui keep me accountable, and I really do feel that as a result of everything I am showing up more authentically and courageously in life and at work. I highly recommend Tui. Her ability to combine natural intuition backed by fact is gold.”
– Angela Earl
“Tui’s teachings and philosophies should be in every home, every school and every boardroom around the world.”
“Tui came to me during what was an extremely difficult time in my life. I was recovering from a severely stressful business environment, which had led to chronic health issues. I was at complete crossroads professionally and needed to ensure moving forward did not impact my health or motherhood like it had in the past.Tui is truly gifted, not only in her understanding and empathising but her ability to hone-in on what my focus could be and taking me on a journey of discovery and realignment.Tui worked with me using her immersive strengths coaching process as well as customised contextual mindfulness, which allowed me to break down my day to day, remove the noise, and to focus on my needs, desires and what was actually physically possible given my circumstances. She has given me the shift I needed and I look forward to continue working with Tui through her guided meditations, one on one coaching as required and just being part of the inspiring community she nurtures online. Tui’s teachings and philosophies should be in every home, every school and every boardroom around the world.”
– Nyssa Berryman
Meet Tui Fleming
Tui Fleming is a leadership and wellbeing strategist, speaker and coach. NZ’s only certified Gallup strengths leadership coach who’s also trained in Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead and Emotional Culture, a licensed facilitator of the Desire Map, and a yoga and meditation instructor – this unique combination is transformational. From Fortune500s to individuals, Tui inspires presence, power and performance with heart.