Where to start with my motivational blog posts? Where better, than with an excerpt from my book ‘Dear Mummy, You’re Important Too‘ (coming soon). I’m in the midst of the finishing touches and as I read… and re-read… and re-read again (I tell you, this self-publishing lark is not a walk in the park!), I’m struck each time by the simplicity of this idea of filling your cup. It’s simple, yet so many of us mums don’t do it. I understand, I’ve got two pre-schoolers and I know just how hard it is to find time to fill your cup. Don’t worry, I’ll help you with that. For now, let me assume you at least have time to read this one blog post (after all, you’re here aren’t you?). Here goes…
You were you once, before you were mummy. Now you’re in the most important role, doing the most important work of raising a child. To do it well, where everyone in the relationship flourishes (that includes you too), you’ve got to be selfish to be selfless. Being selfish doesn’t mean you treat others badly. It simply means we put our own needs first. Not first to the detriment of others. And not necessarily all the time. But self-care has to be a one of our top priorities. It has to be, in order to be true to ourselves and generous to others.
Here’s a nice way to illustrate this:
Children are most contented and least dependent on you, when their “love cup” is full. When children are contented, and not depending on you, they’ll be more inclined to play on their own… in other words: give you a break! As littlies, they rely on our love to fill their love cup. They’ll take, take, take your love – but then they’ll give back!
This concept works the same way for you mummy. When your cup is full, you’ll be your best self: at your most calm, contented and happy. You’ll have the reserves of energy and love and patience you need to give generously to your little one.
But first you need to be clear on what fills your cup, and then be intentional about filling it.
What are the things that make you feel fulfilled?
Who are you, when you’re at your best?
Here are 7 thought starters you can ask yourself to help get clear on this; 7 ways to be your best you.
If any of these resonate with you, write them down and make a plan to find time for them.
- Are you a social person who enjoys time with friends?
- Are you rejuvenated by a walk on the beach?
- Are you a foodie, is it a trip to the markets, trying a new recipe that does it for you?
- Do you have creativity to express?
- Are you best when you’ve exercised?
- Are you best when you’ve gone inward, perhaps practiced meditation?
- Do you need mental stimulation – a crossword, or working perhaps?
If you really don’t know, if your life is a jumble and you’re feeling a little lost, pick something – anything, as long as it’s just for you – and give it a go. To be your best you, there’s no question you need to be fulfilled. You deserve to be, because dear Mummy, you’re important too.
And there I’ll leave you, at the end of that excerpt. Now off you go back to what you need to do today. But let the seed I’ve planted in your mind – of filling your cup – germinate. Reflect on it sometime today, maybe tonight as you drift off to sleep, and see what you can do to make time – just a little, whatever you can manage – to do something for you tomorrow. Start simple. Just start x